Feel much better talking to alex now.. I think I’m just holding some issues too tight and make myself miserable. I cant control what people are doing and thinking, but I feel so uneasy when people are not doing the way I want it to be. I want things to turn out to be perfect and nice. I think I’m being aggressive, trying to change the way people do things. But who am I? Why must I control people?

No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. So, what can a perfectionist do? Why must we be a perfectionist when you know that things cannot be as perfect? 那不是自讨苦吃?

这个世界有没有”一切完美”? 完美主意者真的可以让他的世界完美无暇吗?

So, I went to biblegateway to find out something about perfection and this is what it says:

The part of wisdom is to accept our Christian brothers and sisters for what they are rather than for what they should be.

I can try to be as perfect as I can, but nothing can be perfect..

 

 Standard Podcast [3:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (3)

张惠妹 - 记得
Recorded on 17 December 2008 - CG Karaoke Outing

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口
过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我们都忘了 这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的 有一天 有一天都会停的
让时间说真话 虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后 我们都不知道会不会有遗憾

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口
过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我们都累了 却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑 怎么说 怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么 也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人 等对方先说找分开的理由

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中 看见了不同的天空
走的太远 终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我 要有两个相反的梦

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口
过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

Yesterday, went town to meet mummy to go shopping. CNY is coming and my mum wants to buy a bag. So, we used the $70 Tangs voucher that I got it from my company on my birthday. In the end, my mum bought a bag and I bought a bag too. In addition, we have to fork out $15.80 as the two bags cost $85.80. I have a lot of bags at home. But sometimes, they do not suit for a particular occasion. I think my favourite will be the two GUESS bag. One is pink and another one is beige. Mummy treated me Marks and Spencer biscuits. I got two packs of almond biscuits and two packs of shortbreads. They are on sale and I got them all. But the consequence of having them is that I will gain weight. I’m really very weight-conscious. Everyday, I will stand on the weighing machine. The needle shifts between 45 to 46. I want to maintain at 45kg. The reason why I slimmed down last time (from 48 to 45) was the stress I got from work.

Exams coming and I’m really very stressed. I think I didnt constantly revise my work. I suddenly feel so lost and really scared I cant make it. So many things to revise and memorise. To my mum, able to graduate is not enough. I need to achieve the best and best is to get scholarship, go overseas study. Why must adults give this kind of expectations? Dont they know that study is hard enough already? Adults like to compare, gossip, force people to do what they do not want to do. CNY is coming and definitely there will be relatives suan-ing you. I have to learn the skills of filtering. When they start talking, I need to block my ears. Daddy is paying my exam fee and I need to return it back to him. I really want to find a job and pay off the debts. Now, I owe my parents $8170. What I can return him now is $5000. So from Jan up till Sept, I need to get $3000 to settle my fee for the year. Though they are not in an urgency to get back the money, I want to settle the debts fast. So my new year resolution, is to earn $$. Since I have holiday from June to Sept, one month, I need to get $1000. JIa U Jia U..  

Photoshop brushes by seishido.biz 

In 20 more minutes and we gonna say goodbye to 2008 and say hello to 2009. Let’s recall some remarkable things I’ve done in the year of 2008. This is the good thing of having blog. I can easily list down the events.

2008 Events

New Year Countdown: This day last year, I had my New Year Countdown at Nicholas house with my ex-unit. That time, the taiwanese drama 斗牛要不要 (Dou Niu Yao Bu Yao) was showing and I was very high about He Jun Xiang. So, Crystal got me the PLAY magazine with Mike He in there.

Jay Malaysia Concert Design: I was told by the Jay2U(the official fan club) admin asked me to help them design a banner to draw people to buy the concert tickets.

My first office job: A place where I learned a lot of accounting stuff, get to know a lot of new friends, many socialisation activities, and visited a lot of good food places. (You can check it out at the Food paradise category.

Celebrated Jay’s birthday with him: Jay got two concerts and I managed to get the 18 Jan one with a group of Jay2u.com fans. We sang birthday song to him.

Kung Fu Dunk Premiere: Entitled to watch the premiere with a group of jay fans. We are the first 100 to watch this movie. Super Happy.

Company CNY Lunch: The food there’s super nice.

MIAKE In Harmony Concert: It’s my first time returning back to school to watch my ensemble. In the past, I performed to people. Now, I watch people performing.

A visit to Botanic Garden: My i-think-it’s-my-second-time to Botanic Garden. The first time I was there to take album shots. It’s like a family gathering w/o my da ge. 

Chi-Teh Bing’s visit to my house: Okay, I hate and scared cats, but not the little Teh Peng. She came to my house because her owner went overseas. Teh Peng is a kitten found in NUS campus near E3A.

The current blog theme: On 19 September, I got my official shepherd - Li Ping. So I am the sheep. And also, I find sheep is very cute. I have a nickname as “Meh Meh” when I was in secondary school. It was because when I was in seconday two, I called my maths teacher “Ma’am” but it sounded like “meh”.

Launch of CG blog: Initiated to start this CG blog. So I started to design the template. Working with a few members - Maurise, Alex, Shawn, then Li Ping joined in. From tomorrow onwards, I’m gonna step down the position and to let others to take over. *Phew*

My last day at work: My last day at work after working for 10 months

Followed by Wala Wala: Went wala wala with my close colleagues after work on my last day of work. Simply loving the band at 10pm.

Wonderful Saturday and a date with MJ: Shopping with MJ and joined my ex-caregroup for dinner after service, and celebrated Ming Han’s birthday.

Musique Unifiante: CCA performance by the juniors and Ms Wee’s last performance as conductor.. She’s migrating to USA.

Christmas Season: Busy week and my second time serving in the IMAGE ministry.

2008 Reflections

This year aint my year. It’s a year that nothing went smoothly as what I wanted them to be. Hope 2009 will be a better year for me.

2008, my first year able to attend service constantly. In the past, I could not even go service.
2008, I have an official and formal caregroup. In the past when I’m still in high school, I was in my brother’s caregroup, on-and-off for 2 years.
2008, first time serving in ministry- IMAGE.

2009 Resolutions

A-S-K: Attitude, Skills, Knowledge

Attitude: To be approachable, and open up with people. Allow people to enter and talk into my life.
Skills: To master the arts of leading the caregroup/ any groups in games.
Knowledge: Know more about His Word and able to apply.