1) Mandate of this leadership
I’m so glad that I was able to take leave for this five days camp and to take a break from family, work, ministry to just come back and focus. Prior to the camp, I was a bit sian and caught up with myself, my work etc. I believe that I was just too inward looking to concentrate on all these things instead of God alone.
Claramae was sharing with me that we need to know the mantle of the leadership, what is our calling as leaders, why God put us as leader. People may rise up due to situations (because there isn’t leader to lead the group etc). But for me, I had a CHOICE. I recalled why I made the decision to stay back in the UOL a year ago, then why I moved to the pioneering group. Reminded of why am I here, what do I want to achieve at the end of it – Discipleship (which leads to the next point). It is not about how good I am, whether am I able to do and lead my group, but is about God using me, through me to do great things that I can’t do it humanly. It just takes an obedient heart to follow.
Application point: Seeing God in this picture, understanding of His power and sovereignty over things I couldn’t control, growing more trust in Him.
2) Being diligent and persevering
Learned this during the cycling event we had on the fourth day at ECP. Actually that previous night when the facilitator told us that we are going to cycle, 我真的是睡不好因为我真的很怕. I even messaged my friends to ask them what to do and how can I “siam” for this. Throughout the whole cycling, I was somehow “in my own world” to concentrate on cycling, did some “self talk” to encourage myself. What kept me going on was to look ahead to the final destination of this journey even though I don’t know whether I can even make it. This is just like my own journey with God, I just need to focus and fix my eyes on God. During the cycling, somehow I fell from the bike. I dont remember how it exactly happened but my bike just leaned to one side and fell. There wasn’t anyone around but I just know that I need to get up. My legs were wobbly and cramped. I tried thrice before I could get up from the floor. Just like this journey with God, at times we are doing fine at certain pace, at times we are fast/ slow, at times when we stumble and fall. The important thing is whether do we stand up from where we fell, persevere to stand up despite multiple setbacks. 跌倒了，要懂怎么样爬起来
To be diligent to growing myself in the WOG, character and attitude. Be persistent and persevere to grow myself and to be the person God wants me to be.
3) Courageous Gabriella! – JUST DO IT!
Ending this reflection with one activity we did on the second day (something like the SENT activity we had during the uni camp). The first thing that came into my mind was “blessed to be a blessing” which is like my “motto”. Whatever I need to do/model, it must be something that can bless people. When we get out of Tampines station, I saw the two visually-disabled people who were busking. The first thing that came to my mind is “okay. maybe I can help them by busking or rallying people to help donate.” Initially I didn’t think much like how should I busk, how do I approach these two buskers saying that we want to help them, what-ifs. Then, the moment Seng and I wanted to do that, I was suddenly awakened by the fact that only the two of us is going to do it. Then all these questions popped up and somehow stopped me from what I wanted to do in the first place. Very fearful. However, more bros and siss came along and added strength and courage to us and we eventually busked. It was a good time knowing the two of them, their lives and eventually added them on Facebook. The whole experience was really mind-blowing for me, to do things that is not really of myself, out of comfort zone, but I’m still joyful to be a blessing to the two of them #blessedtobeablessing.
Sometimes, there are things that we want to do but we didn’t do. It could be due to external circumstances or factors but the greatest obstacle we have is ourselves. We gave ourselves excuses and concerns, making boundaries and limit ourselves to greater things that God wants us to do. We listened to our voices so much so that we have forgotten to listen to God’s and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us.
a) Be COURAGEOUS in the things God wants me to do, the things that He has already put in my heart (eg. discipleship). Just do it!
b) Renewal of mind. Not to listen to my voice, what others say. To have a heart that is ready to listen as He speaks.
c) HUMBLE to learn from others, from my mistakes